I registered for classes last night.

So far I have been able to enroll in one class that fits my time schedule. I can only take classes that are 5:30 or later and even then it will be a hell of a rush to get to class on time. So, my ONE class so far is actually aimed at Tourism Students - Occupational Conversation Spanish. It will be on Mondays from 5:30pm to 8:20 and is worth 3 credits.

And i have one self-paced online course covering beginning powerpoint, word and excel 2007. It is worth 1 credit.

I am also on a waiting list for a non-degree sewing class that my friend Catherine is already signed up for. That is on Thursday nights from 6:30 - 9:30pm 1-29 to 3-5.


What does all of this mean? It means I need to dig deep into my pockets and pay for everything without a loan (can that even be done in this day of student loans?). It also means a slow slog through school based on what I can pay not on what I am capable of learning.

I mean I'm the chica who was wondering if she could take beginning nursing classes just to take them. Why? Because I am curious. I also want to take blacksmithing classes. Why? Because I'm curious.

I've waited 10 years to go back to school and now I just want to learn as much as I can. Why? That's right... because I'm curious!

Silly silly me.

:D

But I'm also really happy at the present moment that I at least have the chance to learn anything I want as long as I can pay for it.

Keeping Hope and Goals Alive

I admit it I don't really understand the overall ramifications of the current economic crisis in the United States. I don't even really understand how it's going to affect me. But what I do understand is that I have to make sure that no matter what happens I need to keep my dog with me, a roof over our heads, food in our mouths and warmth in our house. I also need to stay on my medications for my asthma as best as I am able.

A lot of people are losing their beloved pets due to home foreclosure. I do not intend to be one of those people. As much as I don't want to lose my house, I really don't want to lose my dog. Even if I'm homeless I still want to keep Mojo.

For just once in my adult life I want to keep a dog from the time I adopt him to the time he dies. I want to provide good to excellent care and to give a stable non-abusive household to said dog. After all the shit I went through in trying to do that for Kody and failing miserably, I just really want to give Mojo a good permanent home.

On the job front:
I have stopped looking for another job. I may not always like my job, but it is at least paying me well, and I have health benefits. I'm still trying to better myself so that when my job search begins again I will be more able to find a job.

Despite my concerns about my personal finances I'm still trying to go back to school this coming semester. I will not be taking out a student loan because I *know* I wouldn't be able to keep up with the payments. So I will be paying for each class out of my own pocket.

As of right now - the only hopes for classes I have for the coming semester are:
Online Courses:
Excel Beginning $112
Excel Intermediate $112

A non-credit sewing class (I really want to learn how to sew my own clothes). $40

Once I take my placement tests and/or transfer my credits from Bemidji State University I will worry about how I will do the required English and Math skills. My big problems there are oriented with what times they offer those classes in relation to what my work schedule is.

But I'm trying to keep up hope that I will get back to school somehow. I still don't even have the intention to graduate, I just want to learn something new asnd keep my mind from stagnating any more than it currently is.

Is it cynical of me to say that I'm trying to train my mind/heart to just accept that I need to keep my center around Mojo, school, and financial survival?

I want to date. I want to be emotionally close to someone. But I'm so scared of the potential for pain that I just can't take the steps to opening my mouth and asking. My physical needs are currently being met, and my emotional needs are being partly met via friends. If I could date again, I find my desire to ask centered on one person. But that one person isnt someone I have the courage to really, fully ask.

Mojo, school, money.
Mojo, school, money
Mojo, school, money.

No boys allowed. ;)

Just kidding.

Sort of.